Can't
by Chiara Alice Vargas
Summary: Gilbert is Elizaveta's best friend. Roderich is Elizaveta's boyfriend. Gilbert likes Elizaveta but he doesn't want to tell her. Elizaveta's leaving for Vienna with Roderich. This is his last chance, but of course, she's not dropping everything just for him. Sad PruHun with somewhat sad ending, AusHun, not sure if angst but oh well. Feel free to hate because Gil's a tad bit too OOC


**Can't**

A PruHun fanfic, Rated T for potty-mouth Prussia and Hungary, one-shot

Warnings:

Human AU, somewhat a bit more serious Prussia, not a happy ending tbh, Prussia/Gilbert's POV

This is for my best friend, Mae (YamiKurixMeijoux [dA] / yourkindofstalker [Tumblr]). In which my self-proclaimed speciality is "breaking hearts and making people cry". Nah, it's not. I bet this won't even get a single tear from a reader.

—-

Where the heck is she? I scanned the park, my red eyes (not a camera effect) slowly looked around. She told me to meet her here at the park, so where is she? Damn, Elizaveta. Next time you invite me, make sure you actually come, and not waste my time by not showing up. Did you know I had to sacrifice watching the Olympics live just to meet you here? Tsk, tsk.

Anyway, I stuffed my hands in my jacket's pockets. Red hoodie with a white meme-based shirt inside. Trollface. Problem (no pun intended...? Or was it...? Hah!)? The sun was out today, so it was really bright. Not very hot though, hence the jacket. I sighed and looked at my cellphone for the millionth time. She hasn't called nor texted. Well, thanks a lot, Liz.

"Gil!" I heard an oh-so-familiar voice call my name. Nickname, really. I turned around, looking for the voice's owner.

My face broke into a grin when I finally saw her. Liz. She was waving to me from afar, looking very distinguishable with that dress she's wearing. Don't ask why I can't find her despite her distinguishability from the park-goers.

I jogged towards her and stopped when we were finally facing each other. "Hey, Liz. Finally found you. Thought you were gonna trick me again into coming to the park for no reason at all." I snickered, remembering that joke she played on me. I will never let that get past us. She made me go to the park at 1 AM, telling me she had to talk to me about something very serious and depressing. She was even acting all dramatic on the phone, crying and whining and shit! So I went, but when I got there, she was nowhere to be found, and minutes later, she sent me a text laughing at my gullibility. You could say I was more or less highly pissed off at the joke. But we're okay about it now. I got back at her anyway, but that's a different story.

"Not that again..." she rolled her eyes, exasperated at my constant harping about it.

I narrowed my eyes; something seems a bit off here... I looked at Liz strangely, and she looked back with a confused expression. "What is it?"

"You're wearing a dress." I said with a straight face, frowning upon her outfit.

"No shit, Sherlock!" she exclaimed with a laugh, placing her hands on her hips. I would never admit to her that she looked beautiful in that. It was sea green, with those short, puffy sleeves. The hem of the skirt which had lace trimmings reached just a bit above her knees, the blowing wind making it slightly flutter. Her bangs were lightly parted to the side and her hair tucked behind her ear. She wore shoes ladies like my cousin Lili wore and shoes she wore when there was a special occasion. She looked so good, like she was going to go on a date. She fixed herself up, but I knew it wasn't for me. So instead, I became a jerk and scowled at her (beautiful) appearance.

"You're wearing a _dress_, Elizaveta." I repeated and shook my head with disapproval. Maybe the disapproval was just because she didn't dress up prettily for me, but whatever. "It doesn't really suit you. Maybe I just got so used to you wearing things like sneakers and hoodie jackets and jeans." I shrugged and added for good measure.

Her face fell. She probably was silently fishing for a compliment, but instead, I shot her down. "It doesn't? Oh..." she paused, looking disappointed. In a matter of seconds, though, her face snapped back to normal, a defiant look on her face. "It doesn't matter; Roderich likes it." she said in a high-pitched voice as she crossed her arms with a huff.

Of course. Roderich would. That stuck-up, Austrian aristocrat would. I couldn't help but feel a bitter expression flicker across my face.

A man in some kind of classy trench coat and whatever walked up to us with two bags of cotton candy and a plastic bag full of cans of cat food. That thick framed pair of glasses, that stubborn piece of hair, that prominent mole on his face that made him look "a thousand times handsomer and more mysterious" (or so the ladies say) — it can't be missed. Well, hello, Roddy.

"Gilbert?" he raised an eyebrow at me, beating me to the pleasure of greeting him first. Liz smiled at him but he didn't notice. His eyes were fixated at me with a glare. It's obvious that we don't exactly like each other.

"Yes, Roddy?" I countered with a challenging smirk. I even called him by the nickname Liz calls him just because I wanted to see him visibly pissed off. "I just happened to pass by and saw Liz here." I cocked my head a bit to refer to Liz, standing beside me.

"Ah, of course." he looked as stoic as ever, like he was eternally bored with everything he saw. Unless it was music. He has this slightly unhealthy obsession with classical music. Honestly, everything about Roderich annoyed me. "Elizaveta, where do you want to go next?" he turned to her, completely forgetting I was there.

"Hmm, maybe we could sit down on the bench for a while while we eat the cotton candy and chat for a while." she smiled sweetly at him, which made me all the more pissed. I knew it would be Liz who would be doing most of the chatting. "Then we could go to the piano recital later." she nodded.

"That sounds good." Roderich nodded. Wow, how long are they gonna take before they remember I'm here?

After they planned their whole afternoon in front of me, Liz turned towards me (a bit surprised at how I haven't left yet) and said good bye, and Roderich just sent some kind of pathetic nod-spasm towards me. Well, that was stupid. I went aaaaall the way here to talk to Liz for 3 goddamned seconds before I had to watch a couple plan their date in front of me while forgetting I was still there. Haha! Now I didn't even get to watch the badminton competition! Damn you both.

I walked home, horribly annoyed at the both of them. Whenever I see them together, it just makes me want to gouge my eyes out with an ancient sword. It's not even because I'm jealous — in fact, I am a very non-jealous person! It's because Elizaveta is my friend. I hate how Liz changes just for him, how she has to make herself look prim, proper, pretty and presentable beside the sissy, aristocratic musician. She's not herself, not her normal self when she's with him. I don't think she should feel like her normal self wouldn't be enough for Roderich and that she has to become someone she isn't just to conform to whatever image Roderich wanted to force upon her as his girlfriend. When she's not being all lady-like for her precious Roddy, she's the kind who doesn't give a fuck about things, the kind who doesn't let herself be trotted by the male gender (a true feminist, that one is), the kind who you would mistake as a guy in mannerisms. She's not someone who aims to please her boyfriend all the time by acting the opposite of who she really is.

Okay, so I lied. I'm not a non-jealous person. Being jealous of someone is normal; it's human. I guess I slightly am jealous. I've known Liz since forever, and I've been her best friend for as long as I could remember. I've never told anyone I liked her, no one except for my brother, and honestly, I think my brother could care less. He's not the kind who you'd think would be into girls or whatever. He's more into mechanics and machinery and whatnot. If girls were made out of metal and wrenches, sure, why not?

Like I said, I have never told her or anyone about it. It's okay, it could keep itself as a secret forever. No one else has to know. We could just stay as best friends and I would never have to tell her, never have to experience that kind of rejection. If only I had gotten to her sooner or if I knew Roderich and Liz's relationship wouldn't last, maybe I would have given it a shot, but no, that's not where we stand now. She has a boyfriend, and even if I confessed to her, it's not like she'll drop all of her things and leave him for me.

I would never have to tell her.

I was so sure of that.

—-

"You're what?!" I accidentally dropped the popsicle I was eating onto the ground. What a waste. Liz was hunched over, seated beside me on a park bench, looking kinda gloomy. She was eating a watermelon popsicle. She had called me here again, this time she sounded serious.

"You heard me." she rolled her eyes. I guess it pained her having to repeat all those words to me again, so I did it for her:

"You're moving? To Austria?" I stated in disbelief. She visibly cringed. The mention of it displeased her.

"Yeah." she sighed, then smiled a bit. "I chose to, you know... Roddy's going back to Austria because he will be starting his piano recital tours around Europe and stuff, and he asked me if I wanted to tag along, and so I said yes." she twirled the popsicle stick between her fingers, the watermelon-flavoured ice popsicle melted on her tongue.

I frowned bitterly. "You chose to go? Then why are you acting all sad about it?" It was harsh of me to say that, but honestly, why would she come to me all mopey and shit if the leaving was a decision she made herself?

She looked up at me with an expression so torn and broken, I could feel the tirade of words I was going to say freeze at the tip of my tongue. "I am not acting." she said carefully, breathing in deeply before she continued, "I chose to go but I am sad because... because I'm leaving. Leaving this town, this city I grew up in, leaving the people I grew up with, leaving the things that make this place home. But most of all, I'm sad because I'm leaving you. Don't you get it? You were the one I grew up with, the one who made this place home for me, the one who was always there for me. You've been with me since... since forever!" she made a grand gesture, exclaiming as she did so. "And when I leave, I will sure as shit miss this place, miss these people, and miss you most of all. But I am not turning back, not when my mind's been made up."

I didn't know what to say next. All I heard from that was that she'll miss me but she's still going. She's still leaving.

"Look, Gil, I don't want to make it hard for the both of us, so I wanted to make this short." she gave me a small smile as she stood up, about to leave. I grabbed her wrist in one swift motion, making her turn around in surprise.

"Liz... I..." The words got caught in my throat. It was all there, but somehow, I lost the ability to arrange words to form a sensible sentence. "You... You don't have to go! You're tagging along with him just because he's your boyfriend? You don't have to leave the life you have now just for him! This isn't you; the Elizaveta I knew wouldn't let herself be pushed around by her boyfriend, telling her what to do and where to go!" That wasn't what I intended to say. It wasn't supposed to be something like that. But I could not bring myself to say it yet. Not when I surely thought I would never have to tell her that.

She glared at me. "You do not even know the reasons why I agreed! How can you say I'm tagging along with him just because he is my boyfriend? Stop assuming things and just accept it. You know I've made up my mind!"

Yeah, she has. I could tell. I know her that well; the way she had this resolve in her words, the way she spoke with finality... She's decided. There's nothing I can do about it.

"Sorry." I said. That was all I could say? Sorry? I wish I could have said more, but words failed me right then and there. Maybe I could. I had to say it. It was my last chance. I took a deep breath before continuing: "You're going, right? Well, I guess it'll be long before we see each other again, so I guess this is goodbye. Good luck in whatever else happens in your life and... I love you. I'll miss you, but this is what it feels like to lose, right? To let go? You're right; let's not make this hard for the both of us." I gave her a weak smile, "It is more fun being alone." I said with a dry chuckle. There, I said it. I felt the need to run, run so fast and so far away it'll put cheetahs to shame.

"You what?" she said, her eyes widening. "I... I love you too, Gil, have been since forever, but we can't be together, I mean, I love Roddy and I just can't—"

I interrupted her blabbering. "Don't explain yourself, I don't need it. I understand. So yeah, you better hurry along now. Bye." I gave a short nod. So this is how our farewell's gonna be, Liz? A short goodbye with little to no meaning? Best friends for nearly two decades and this is how it turns out.

The next morning I woke up, wondering if everything was just a dream, or a memory blurred by the silent tears that I cried last night.

The next week, I found myself admittedly missing her. She had left for Vienna three days before. She had left me one last goodbye on the answering machine.

The next month, I started to move on, to go back to the life I once had. But what life was it, a life without Elizaveta in the picture? I had her in my life since forever. What kind of life did I go back to, then?

The next few years, we never got in touch. She probably never bothered or wanted to, either. I didn't mind. It was probably easier for the both of us. I didn't want to hear from her, didn't want to hear the posh, glamorous, fabulous, and amazing life she now has with Roderich. I didn't want to hear her voice and miss her. I wanted to forget about her, but it's so hard when all of my good and bad memories were with her.

I tried, but I can't. She's gone and I lost my chance. Lost it years ago. I wonder what she's doing now, and if she still remembers me. I wonder if she's still out there, traveling Europe, if not the world already. I wonder if she's having the time of her life with Mr. Edelstein now. Maybe she's now Mrs. Edelstein.

I've given up on her. Honestly. It's so fun being alone.

—-

**A/N:** Hi, this is Claire/Galgenhumor and what the fuck did I just write?! I SHOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN IT IN PRUSSIA'S POV. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE THAT. WHY IS IT SO OOC? I AM A DISGRACE TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

FEEL FREE TO SEND ALL THE HATE HERE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I JUST WROTE

I'M SORRY MAE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU CRY BUT IT TURNS OUT I DIDN'T SUCCEED INSTEAD I PROBABLY MADE YOU GO "WHAT THE BLAZING FUCK DID CLAIRE JUST WRITE" RN

I CANNOT

I AM SO SORRY, FANDOM

I'M SORRY FOR DESTROYING PRUHUN BECAUSE OF MY OOC-NESS


End file.
